• Platypus
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        867 months ago

        Also balding

      • @[email protected]
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        387 months ago

        It’s more that infinite uncles implies an incredibly high rate of being molested. If it’s literally infinite, it’s being molested a lot.

        • @[email protected]
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          317 months ago

          Uncles or fish is irrelevant, infinite anything with mass presumably fills the entire space of the universe immediately and collapses everything into a giant singularity.

          • @[email protected]
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            47 months ago

            Only within a finite space. If the universe is infinite then they can be spaced arbitrarily far apart

            • @[email protected]
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              77 months ago

              If the space was infinite, we wouldn’t exist.

              From the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy:

              It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination.

            • @[email protected]
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              7 months ago

              The thing is that the universe is as far as we can tell the not infinite, just infinitely expanding. The known universe is measurable (like 46 billion light years)

              Idk what that implies for the existence of open space however. Like if that is infinite or if it is somehow created.

        • StrikerOPM
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          137 months ago

          Wouldn’t the non molester uncles protect you from the molester uncles thereby creating war on earth between the uncles that want to molest you and the ones that want to protect you.

      • @[email protected]
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        107 months ago

        Infinite uncles means the population of earth is completely unsustainable and the collapse of every system is imminent.

        • @[email protected]
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          27 months ago

          Infinite uncles means infinite food and you can always just let them die, since you have infinite, there’s always gonna be more that aren’t dead

      • @[email protected]
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        57 months ago

        For me, literally everything except the balding and I really couldn’t give a shit, I’ll buzz it all off anyway.

        Infinite rare fish? Well as it happens, fishing is my biggest hobby, so that’s just fuckin delightful.

        Mongolian real estate empire? Well that’s passive income and/or something I can sell. As a mongol mogul, in gonna try working the angle of an exotic but affordable fishing, hunting, and nature tourism destination, really try to put Mongolia on the map for Western tourists.

        No taxes dovetails nicely here, also making it easier to both expand as well as make the business model more resilient.

        Neighbors scared of me? Great! If they seem cool, I’ll reach out to them, otherwise, fear is a great way to not have to deal with shitty neighbors! In Mongolia they’ll be far away anyway.

        Night light to keep the monsters at bay.

        And the balding we will deal with by just keeping it buzzed low or shaving my head completely.

      • @[email protected]B
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        27 months ago

        Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

        Rare Fish

        Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

        I’m open-source; check me out at GitHub.

  • @[email protected]
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    7 months ago

    B all the way. I’ll use my real estate and no taxes to figure out a way to make a fuck ton of $400/month apartments like it’s 1990 to help the less fortunate/average person. I’ll then use the no taxes to hopefully refine my business model to the point of making my affordable apartment business more widespread across the entire country and just keep expanding until I get either assassinated or receive a Nobel Prize.

    • @[email protected]
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      57 months ago

      Depends on how scared the neighbors are. Are they “let’s avoid that guy” scared, or “we better kill him before he kills us” scared ?

      • @Corkyskog
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        27 months ago

        I feel like it depends on who the neighbors are. Live in a suburb, cool. Live 45 minutes from the closest grocery store… yeah that neighbor is likely to murder you.

    • @[email protected]
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      17 months ago

      unfortunately the real estate is in mongolia. Already pretty cheap there, but no one wants to move there

  • @[email protected]
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    407 months ago

    Ok and hear me out here… Tell me more about the Uncles.

    Because if they are gainfully employed in a variety of fields I now have amazing contacts for anything on the cheap.

    If they are the “handsy” uncles, they are significantly less desireable.

    • @[email protected]
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      97 months ago

      You have an infinite number of uncles. Statistically, many of them are going to be billionaires, handsy creeps or creeps out to collect your hands.

      • @[email protected]
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        37 months ago

        If its effectively a normal spread of people then its a resource. If this is some genie trick with unintended consequences like all of them being unemployable alcoholics who all need a place to crash then its a liability.

        • @[email protected]
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          17 months ago

          Tis a shame the uncles don’t come with a real estate empire to house your personal army of alcoholics in. Imagine the political sway you could have by threatening to put them all loose on downtown at the same time? There’s an infinite amount of them! It would destroy the city!

    • @octoperson
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      37 months ago

      Universe collapses into a black hole made of uncles

  • @Varyk
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    177 months ago

    B. Obviously. Not even a question

  • @[email protected]
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    157 months ago

    Infinite rare fish

    They’d no longer be considered “rare” then, right? Or can only I eat/keep them?

    Night light

    Could be good or bad. Is this a night light in just one specific room? Is it a flashlight I always have on me to use as needed? Is it a glowing orb that floats around me that I can’t control?

      • @Corkyskog
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        17 months ago

        Do you just will them unto existence?.. because I am pretty sure with that skill you could convince enough people you’re God to start a new cult.

  • @[email protected]
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    157 months ago

    of those 12 attributes, only two of them are desirable.

    I’m just gonna opt out of this entire post.

  • @[email protected]
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    127 months ago

    B. Sell all the fish, House the homeless, not have to pay taxes on anything including selling of fish and housing the homeless, walk past my neighbors every night at 10:01 PM with a cart of rare fish, pay for more hair with rare fish.

  • CarniMoss
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    117 months ago

    I thought this was about Animal Crossing because of the fish but regardless B

  • @[email protected]
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    117 months ago

    Do all the fish exist right away or I can just like summon them from the void whenever I want?

  • @[email protected]
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    7 months ago

    B. Use fish to fund low income/homeless/transitional shelters. Also, balding. That’s more hair than I have now!