• TheDoozer@lemmy.world
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    2 hours ago

    There are more appropriate ways to say this:

    "Nobody with kids. I might want kids some day, but I’m not ready yet, and it feels like there would be too much pressure to either be involved with her kids or be cut out of a major portion of her life until we’re really serious. And again, not ready.

    And somebody athletic, since I’m into biking and hiking and other activities that require a certain level of fitness.

    And… well, somebody who isn’t into the whole casual sex thing, honestly. I think sex is special and, for me, requires a strong emotional connection. I want someone who has similar views on sex."

    See, I feel like it changes it when you’re not focusing on the other person, but yourself. I’m not ready for kids, I’m into fitness, I’m a demisexual. It sets up the same thing without disparaging people who aren’t what you’re looking for.

    • Donkter@lemmy.world
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      53 minutes ago

      I’ll first say that from a social standpoint it makes sense to focus on yourself when asked that. But the person asked “tell me what you look for in a girl”. You would have to be pretty damn masterful at thinking on your feet to take that question and immediately flip your answers into I statements. Especially if you’re anon and obviously don’t get asked things like this a lot.

      No kids is a common wish although the reason for it can make or break how fine it is to have.

      My guess is that anon is overweight, and the person they were talking to was thinking of friends they had that were overweight and were great people.

      Anon betrayed that their preference was a bit delusional and/or didn’t understand that it can take work to be in shape and takes it for granted that women should be expected to be fit for him without him having to do anything. That’s a pretty sour fart of an opinion.

      The no dating apps thing is pretty cringe. And could certainly make you seem like a pariah to most people. It definitely betrays a sense of superiority if it’s in your top 3 dating requirements. I feel like anon knowing the word demisexual is slim to none but that would be the best thing you could say.

      Actually my guess is that this is fake and anon is just stirring the hate mongering pot.

  • Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee
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    3 hours ago

    The third one is pretty weird, it’s just the default way to meet people now.

    The other two are pretty straightforward.

    • j4k3@lemmy.world
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      1 hour ago

      Makes sense to me, but I’m odd like anon too I guess. I won’t work for places that have an HR department for (likely) similar complex reasoning. I don’t fit the mold or follow the rules like most people in a job. Just give me responsibilities and I’ll be as reliable as if you do them yourself. I don’t handle arbitrary people and bureaucracy well. I just do what makes sense in the moment like a business owner that is very conservative. I ran my own businesses for a long time and act like the employees I wish I had been able to find. When a company has an HR department it says they are inflexible and incompetent in efficiency and abstraction. I know I will be miserable in such a place where layers are used to mask managerial incompetence and political maneuvering.

      Similarly, a person that likes to shop around and date a lot says quite a bit about their ethics and mindset. I’ve never used a dating app in my life. All of my long term relationships are from friends of friends. I have no curiosity about who is out there in general or judging people based on their best sales force lies or old pictures. I am only interested in the rare people that say or do something candidly interesting when I am not expecting it; like if someone has a nerdy passionate interest or interesting quark. The average person is not interesting to me, and average people are on dating apps.

      Plus, I know what I am, and I do not care to try and sell that to anyone. I would much rather the person at least have some familiarity with me beforehand. Starting off formally of calling it “dating” just sounds silly to me. Like, let’s be friends first for awhile. “Dating” puts sex in play on some kind of level. No one can think straight after that addiction starts. So, friends-first for me, and dating apps are not the kind of environment where I can find nerdy interesting friends without extra baggage and expectations.

    • shalafi@lemmy.world
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      13 minutes ago

      Fair question! I’m guessing he views such women as sluts and beneath him.

    • lilsolar
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      3 hours ago

      U tell me

      I think it’s 100% reasonable to not want to meet dating app girls

      • ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org
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        3 hours ago

        I know a reasonable girl that wouldn’t use Tinder in the intended way, she just made an account to see how many guys in Delhi would swipe right on her when she enabled a VPN to pretend to be in India. (Lots)