Christian God doesn’t even come down to earth in the form of an animal to get you pregnant. You just wake up one morning with a bun in the oven. Dude should at least make it fun. Zeus and Posieden knew how to have a good time.
Zeus doesn’t even discriminate based on gender. He saw Ganymede, a cute mortal twink herder, and brought him to my Olympus to be his femboy cup-bearer. Tried for ages to get him pregnant, but with no such luck.
Probably ought to be glad Zeus doesn’t exist either.
Good call. Everything is Zeus’s type.
UwU
Huh…I spent so much of my life concentrated on the fact that Mary was a lying slut who absolutely had sex with someone. Thus making Jesus not only NOT God’s child, but also by definition a bastard…that I never thought about the story from the perspective of it being true. If you take the story at face value, and God impregnated Mary in her sleep? That makes God a rapist who didn’t get consent.
Jesus was a bastard who was BFFs with a prozzie, did violence against the wealthy, and spurned authority. God might not listen to Slayer, but I reckon Jesus would have
Actually an angel appeared and told Mary she was chosen. She said “aight bet.” So, technically consent.
Jesus is still a bastard too.
Yeah I never heard of God getting married.
Yep. Pretty fucked no matter which way you look at it…
Has anyone informed you of Sithrak the Blind Gibberer?
All hail the God Who Hates You Unconditionally 👌
I honestly think that if a personal, knowable, and forgiving god exists as the god-botherers say they believe in, then he/she would get down with some Slayer and chuckle at the irony of listening to such music.
Why can’t a god have a sense of humor?
Considering Mary seems to be around 12-13 from the literature we have? You’ll age out of it, I guess? Cold comfort…
Wait WHAT?? Bruh what is going on with Christianity?
