New Zealand. Beautiful place, and the coffee, OMFG, they really know their coffee there!
True love. I was with my soulmate and she left me. My heart never healed and it’s been over 4 years.
Sex.
I’m 39.
☹️.
Losing consciousness. I went to get by blood drawn for the doctor and for some reason I got nervous or something, and I lost consciousness for just a minute or two.
I woke up as if I had just slept for 30 hours, more rested than I’ve ever been, no matter how long I sleep.
Sometimes we just need to turn the human off then on again and it clears out the brain cache? I’ll have to try sometime!
If only I could pass out on command.
I know it’s silly, but a bj from one of my exes. It was so good and I’ve been a bit touch deprived lately.
There’s a camaraderie with the other soldiers on your platoon that happens when you’re in the military that I’ve never been able to feel with any other group of people since I got out. I would really like to be able to experience that again, but minus the war part.
Blood of the covenant. I hear ya. Even that one guy or two who was an absolute dick, it’s kinda all okay now.
I wanna smoke weed again. I did it one time in school when I got hold of a dealer. Didn’t do it again, dunno why. Now I don’t know any dealers.
I hear you, I’d kill for a good old buzz right now
Take a field trip to Michigan?
I would rather shoot myself than set foot in America right now
The Netherlands, perhaps?
I have considered taking a train to Amsterdam. It’s probably just a 2-hour ride.
Just go if you’re so close then
How lucky! I wish I lived two hours away from Amsterdam.
If you come here someone can do the shooting for you.
Lmao I share the sentiment but the delivery was hilarious
I had morphine at the hospital once. It was like a blanket woven with fibers made of love, calmness, and warmth. I would love to feel that again, but not a good idea. I can easily understand how someone can get addicted to opiates.
wow, definitely tempting from your description
Weird. I’ve gotten oxy for a surgery, and it was just meh. Didn’t make me feel tired, didn’t really do a lot for the pain–which wasn’t really that bad–def. didn’t get me high. OTOH, I’m allergic to at least one opiate, so IDK.
Same here. A little warmth and then a sudden wave of nausea.
Hydrocodone made my eyes itch so badly that I couldn’t keep them open. It took about five or six hours before I could see anything.
Oh it feels good until the hives hit for me. But I was on Dilaudid. Never did oxy, vicodin didn’t reduce my pain enough for me to bother learning I’m allergic
Yeah, drugs affect some people differently.
Tangentially, I’ve never understood when people say caffeine makes them fall asleep but it’s a relatively common thing. Lol
First time I took amphetamines, it felt like a buzzing I’d had in my head all the time was suddenly gone and I could actually enjoy the quiet for the first time.
It was so great that I swore never to take them again, cause I knew I’d want to take them every day and get addicted.10 years later I was diagnosed with ADHD. Turns out amphetamines just let me feel what it’s like without symptoms for the first time.
Now I do take them daily (but at a much lower dosage).God, same… it’s like all that TV static in my brain was finally gone. Ten years later and I’m still so damn grateful for it.
My kids are convinced I have ADD, and are probably right, but having used amphetamines recreationally and enjoyed them too much I am afraid of the meds. I told the one still at home to hide them when she asked if I wanted to try the Adderall.
How is this going for you? I don’t feel addictive in general, but speed? Oh my that is some good stuff.
Typically if you have ADHD then stimulants just make you feel “normal”. Like, when I take my meds it just helps me stay on task and focus on what I want to focus on.
My non-ADHD friends who have taken the same meds recreationally have said they feel euphoric when they take them, which I do not get at all. For me it’s just like… Strong coffee? (Then again, maybe lots of people are euphoric when they have their morning coffee?)
All this to say, get a real diagnosis, because there’s a real chance that you don’t have ADHD. Lots of other disorders can cause similar symptoms (e.g. chronic stress, generalized anxiety). Stimulants really fuck with your sleeping patterns which is absolutely terrible for yor health.
If I could hold a job without my meds I would probably stop taking them. I recently had to stop them temporarily due to another health issue and within 2 days my insomnia was gone and I was feeling healthier than I had in years. Yeah, it’s been a lot harder to live my life, but I had forgotten how good a nice, deep sleep feels
Individual experiences can vary significantly. With sleeping pattern, for example: when I was on Vyvanse, I actually slept better than when I wasn’t on medication; I fell asleep easier and felt more rested in the mornings. Strattera (a “non-stimulant”), on the other hand, had me waking hourly and having bizarre dreams.
I just use coffee and exercise and manage my work chaotically but it gets done - apparently my brief fashes of brilliance make up for the disregard for deadlines and processes, never doing things the same way for long, it doesn’t work everywhere but at my current workplace (and one other job) they are happy with things changing all the time.
Honestly the way I was doing speed recreationally (the method) would have been euphoric for anyone; back then I could sleep while high on speed and that felt so good too!
My kids, they figure I have it because they do & when we were doing the screenings for them I was like, no fucking way is that a symptom, that’s normal, that is also normal, nobody can focus on something boring for hours, no child can sit still, no teenager is organized, everyone is annoying sometimes that is nonsense - and they were just rolling their eyes at me. I still think half of it is just the world being messed up, not the kid. The modern world is not made for human brains.
I’m not addicted to the meds at all (recently went 2 months without, cause it would have been difficult to bring them to the country I was vacationing at)
They don’t kick, after the first week I didn’t feel any effect at all anymore, except for weaker ADHD symptoms.
Let me get a couple
Same. It felt like heaven and you just felt perfect all around. And that was just a dose of pain relief. I tried LSD last year which i enjoyed, so i‘m sort of open to try new drugs in a controlled environment. Opiated however, never. I was lucky to experience it in a controlled environment like the hospital to realise this drug is not for fun, it will make an addict of you.
Yep, dangerous stuff. I once had some minor surgery done. Afterwards I was sitting outside in a patient waiting room in a bed waiting for the drugs to stop working.
I brought my laptop and watched some episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm. It was hilarious and super comfortable.
I can never do that again, it’s obviously super addictive. The medical professionals are right in being really strict when giving out opiates in my country.
Apparently people’s responses in this situation are a good indication of their vulnerability to addiction in general.
Anecdotally it makes sense. I’ve had morphine multiple times (after accidents) and found it meh. I certainly wasn’t asking for more. It so happens that I hardly ever drink and I’ve never done drugs of any kind or even wanted to*, despite having no moral objections to them and being around a ton of people who do them all.
*Okay, except psychedelics.
I think it varies by class of drugs (edit: and how they interact with your personality). I’ve used opiates and benzos before and enjoyed myself without feeling like I’d really care to try it again, but I definitely flirted with disaster/addiction with stimulants for a decade plus and alcohol for my entire adult life.
And it didn’t take long; the first time I tried any stimulant, I chased it (and I’ve tried a lot of them).
Psychedelics, on the other hand, I love and in most people there is little to no danger for addiction. I’d go so far as to say that unless you have a family or personal history of schizophrenia, psychedelics are almost a must for understanding or coming to peace with life, death, and society.
A good psychedelic trip is literally life-changing, and even a bad trip is life-changing if you go into it with a decent trip sitter and the attitude that a bad trip is still just showing you yourself and the things you need to work on.
I quit taking oxy once the pain subsided so i could have a beer lol. 15-45min of feeling like “everything is fine, really” while being forcibly dissociated every few hours was nice. Not worth the constipation at all.
Dilodin via IV drip was pretty great though.
I never came close to describing morphine even half as well as you did. And it still doesn’t do it justice.
Morphine is the best. And that’s what makes it the worst.
I got dilaudid in the hospital after surgery and thought “Hah! What can this tiny pill do?”. Well within minutes I was in a fetal position on a cloud. My wife said I was the nicest I’ve ever been. lol
Yah, I can see the addiction potential there.
Damn, is that one supposed to be that good?
I got some a few months ago. It took the edge off the pain I was in, but I was still far from comfortable. I also had access to a fentanyl drip later, and I don’t really like the feeling of that either. I pushed the button like maybe 3 or 4 times total over the next week, even though it was probably the worst week of my entire life.
Morphine and laughing has have me curious, though. But I guess pain meds just aren’t my vice. Knowing how dangerous opiates are makes me way to nervous to enjoy anything but the lack of (or really just reduction in) pain.
All alcohol is fucking terrible, bar none ever.
Weird to me how 2 of the most popular addictive things just make me feel gross.
Weed though gives me a better version of the alcohol high with absolutely none of the downsides. Never had a hangover, but I would throw up almost every time and had an annoying headache that wasn’t debilitating, but hard to dull.
If you told me I had a week to live, I’d do everything in my power to obtain clean heroin to find out what that’s about.
I think of heroin addiction as a yes or no question. I’ve tried it and it was nice (same with other opioid meds I have had to take) but some people, they try it and it’s like they have never been whole before that point, or never been without pain - if it “fits” like that you will miss it so much. It was not that for me. I can’t find the high in pot at all, either. I think it’s a genetic difference, not a psychological one.
I did love the sleep you can get with morphine, that soft pillowy comfort. I don’t want it all the time but it would be a great way to die, and it’s great very occasionally, like once every five years.
Oh hey I was just about to comment that the one time I got morphine in the hospital it absolutely did not make me feel like this. It didn’t feel like anything except “thank god the pain stopped, now I can rest.” But it didn’t make me feel good above my baseline and I was about to wonder if something was wrong with me? Now I just feel lucky.
I think it’s a genetic difference
I’ve read that alcoholics have a higher release of dopamine than non-alcoholics when they drink. I don’t know how that’s measured or how true that is, but it makes sense to me that something physiologically different is happening.
I’ve also had reduced effectiveness of party drugs when I was on meds to treat bi-polar.
Honestly I’d settle for easy access to a saline drip. The raw hydration and cool sensation in the veins. The medical smell too.
I have to drink like 6 liters of water to sort of almost feel that hydrated in a day.
I’ve never done opiates, but that sounds kinda like just the right amount of alcohol and weed. It’s a tough needle to thread, but I have fond memories of nights drifting off to sleep perfectly content, perfectly warm and comfortable. The brain is tingly and fuzzy, the body almost feels like it’s on the edge of vertigo, in a cozy falling-twisting sort of way; like sinking into an impossibly soft mattress that just keeps going. Warm but not sweaty, calm but not numb, everything exactly as it should be.
Hearing “Highway to the Danger Zone” at a piano bar. It was request night for tips, where the requests were ordered by how much the tip was.
Most of the tips were $1 to $3. I laid down Highway with $5, mostly as a joke.
What I got was a panio cover made up on the spot, and it was the best version of the song I ever heard. Will likely never hear it like that again.
To be content. At least i got to experience it once.
content adjective in a state of peaceful happiness.
Fresh new set of teeth.
I’d like to be able to raise my children again. I think I could do better.
They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had And add some extra, just for you.
But they were fucked up in their turn By fools in old-style hats and coats, Who half the time were soppy-stern And half at one another’s throats.
Man hands on misery to man. It deepens like a coastal shelf. Get out as early as you can, And don’t have any kids yourself.
-Philip Larkin
The most depressing pessimistic view of humanity ever penned. In a nutshell, “You can only make things worse, kill yourself.”
I agree with Katrisia, it’s a never ending cycle. It’s also an exercise in futility though, Too many uncontrollable variables.
As a son… I see it as my parents probably tried to improve what their parents did and it may not have turned out how they would have wanted the intention was good. I hope my kids will also see that even though it wasn’t perfect I tried to improve what my parents had done. The last line I hope some people take seriously. Enjoy your life without kids, parenting is difficult and will bring a life of hardships… But it’s worth it if you put in the effort as long as you know you can’t make the perfect person. No changing your mind once you start. If you do go out for milk and never come back then the poem was true.
More like: “It is a bad neverending cycle. Break it”.
“get out as early as you can, and don’t have any kids yourself.”
Oh! The first part can be about suicide, you’re right. The second part reminds me of antinatalism, and I think it makes sense for breaking the cycle described.
It’s a constant fear of mine. That I’m not doing well enough. I actually lie awake at nights and that’s not something I normally do. But I know that I can’t do more than my best, I’ll make plenty mistakes, but so did my parents and I turned out fine. As long as you give all the love and support that you can. They’ll be fine. There’s not much else you can do, honestly, they’ll have to find their own way anyhow
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happiness
Did you experience it once? What is it like?
Less sad
Being born
I suspect that’s far from a pleasant experience. Likely traumatic, in fact. Why would you want to re-experience that?
I think they meant relive their childhood.
Looking out over unbroken old-growth tropical rainforest as far as the eye could see. It was beautiful and gave me hope for our slowly dying world.
