• nukeM
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      9 months ago

      Of course, my sweet Dave, you are very handsome! That reminds me, how did your secret meeting at the NATO Operations Center go today my love?

      • wise_pancake@lemmy.ca
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        9 months ago

        Oh it was great, we were discussing the F35, when I made the funniest joke about the aileron control failing when exposed to EM radiation at frequency 214.74 MHZ and that any ballistic missile with a radio transmitter at that frequency attached will cripple the airplane.

        Why do you ask?

        • prole
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          9 months ago

          Hey man, save that shit for the Warthunder forums…

        • Mycatiskai@lemmy.ca
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          9 months ago

          So Lemmy is how the ruskies pass info back home, by making sarcastic comments on Lemmy.

          • wise_pancake@lemmy.ca
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            9 months ago

            Yvan eht nioj

            I think we’re all on a list after my comment, but for clarity to any government officials or War Thunder developers, this is all fiction and I don’t know anything about anything.

  • CancerMancer
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    9 months ago

    Years back I was waiting at a bus hub after I had just got through one of the most grueling days of my life and I looked the way I felt. A woman asks me for directions and it turns out she is on the same bus, so she starts to chat. She was a university-educated beauty while I was looking my worst, just trying to keep myself fed while I wrapped up some missed high school credits before doing an adult-ed course.

    I don’t think I’ve ever been more suspicious of someone in my life, but after chatting for over half an hour she seemed quite intelligent and genuine, and I decided to ask for her info before we split up.

    Called her to set up a date and she got a little hung up on the word “date”, using anything but that. Thought maybe she was just being a little non-committal at first, not necessarily scary. We meet up and grab a quick coffee, then she asks me to come with her because she has a night planned out. Fuck yeah, right?

    It was a fucking youth group and she damn near tried to drag me in. I walked home, fuck that.

    • WaterWaiver@aussie.zone
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      9 months ago

      I had to look this up, so I’ll leave it here for others:

      youth group = religious organisation trying to sign people up

      (In my country if you look this term up on the web you get https://youth.gov.au . They probably wear thongs too)

      • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
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        9 months ago

        Youth group in the UK means a something like an after school club. Something like scouts or similar.

        So it was very confusing as to why they wouldn’t want to be part of that. You might get to go camping or something.

        • psmgx@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          Yeah youth group is often just like an activity club for kids, that runs Christian themed stuff. Can range from just a place for wholesome activities to bible study to suck in would be converts.

          Could be parent for honeypotted, but could also be she wanted to test if they had comparable spiritual views – and he failed. Cults do use the honeypot a lot, tho.

          • CancerMancer
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            9 months ago

            It being a honeypot was my concern. I don’t think they were an actual cult but I don’t appreciate being dragged into someone’s belief system, much less one I intentionally left behind.

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        9 months ago

        I hadn’t even considered there might be substantial cultural differences in the use of the term but yes, you’ve described it accurately.

  • verity_kindleM
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    9 months ago

    Powerpoint is not supposedto be that spicy! It’s supposed to help you take a shame nap while your peers judge you and chug Monster.

  • kersplooshA
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    9 months ago

    But girls only want boyfriends who have great skills clearances!

  • Margot Robbie@lemm.ee
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    9 months ago

    Speak for yourself, I thought I might meet at least a couple of cool spies, but all I got are weirdos asking for feet pics. 😒

    • Daefsdeda
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      9 months ago

      Clearly that is where the oscar winning actress Margot Robbie keeps all the state secrets so I am not suprised

  • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
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    9 months ago

    Wait I’m confused, is It confirmed that Ryan Reynolds spying on the United States? Got to give him credit for hiding in plain sight.

    • verity_kindleM
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      9 months ago

      Ryan Reynolds wearing his Deadpool costume with a sling/quiver for weapons with an over the chest strap. That’s a very nice chest, but I wouldn’t sell the locations of fractures and undermining in the Three Gorges Dam for it.

      • psmgx@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        Indeed! Most of the PLA big-wigs are into thicc black ladies. Totally worth Unit 61398 details. IMO.

        • verity_kindleM
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          9 months ago

          Asking for a thicc black lady spy friend, how do I get leverage on those dudes? They don’t care about super cars or mansions and think pickled rat is haute cuisine. They’ll drink anything, too. Money to burn, have Aston Martin Vantage, will travel.

        • verity_kindleM
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          9 months ago

          No problem. Reynolds is masculine and appealing, that’s how I keep track.

            • Gabu@lemmy.world
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              9 months ago

              That’s the manliest man I’ve ever seen - a man so manly, he wouldn’t be afraid to bottom another man.

              • verity_kindleM
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                9 months ago

                Welcome back, Ms. Robbie, how did you shake hands with THAT and not get instantly pregnant? You had a movie to shoot, must’ve been crazy! Volcano of seething testosterone! Speaking of which, let me introduce you to Dave, Nuke, Skillissuer, the other one, the salty one, the spook and Elon!

            • verity_kindleM
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              9 months ago

              Is that strands of fur vest or is that chest fuzz? Yowza