She can’t run for shit, I’d bet. She wasn’t running anywhere except to her side piece’s house. Point was to be away, the excuse was the 5k.
If true the wife probably wanted some alone time with her boyfriend and her husband ruined it.
This is 4chan so the story is prob missing that their in an active divorce or some shit 💀
deleted by creator
if it where true, it would be because she is planning to run with her boyfriend.
run
🚩 RUN AWAY 🚩
They would be running but the wife doesn’t want to!
Why would OP’s wife not just sign herself up if she was going to run? Or realise something was off when her partner told her that they’d done it for her. “Hello, I’d like to sign my wife up for this run. Oh no, I won’t be participating myself.” Feels kind of weird. But this a 4chan post so can’t possibly be fake or gay.
Fake: OP can barely get from the chair to the bathroom, no way they’re running anywhere.
Gay: OP’s “wife” is a their regular pizza delivery person, which is a dude. The friendly banter at the door got weird quick.
Im sure his side of the story isn’t warped to make himself seem like a saint and her a bitch. 👍
It’s /b, the whole thing is probably made up
And it’s actually not a wife but a husband.
fake and gay, confirmed
Fake: Anon has a wife
Gay: Anon wears tight clothes
B- but… But what about the points???
I just got out of a relationship and holy fuck that shit is infuriating. Everyone’s gotta side curious what happened here.
Also are you the horse from Bojack Horseman? I’m literally watching S1E6 right now.
What is this, a crossover episode?
Everyone has a side but every man has dated a woman who did something just like this. More than once.
Is this “every man” in the room with us right now?
Lemmy’s userbase is overwhelmingly male so yeah probably
I’m just one guy but I’ve experienced something similar.
She was planning on having 5 km of cock run on her, now her plans are ruined.
This is almost exactly how I found out my ex-wife was cheating. She bought a ticket to a concert and then freaked out when I bought one too. Why wouldn’t I want to go to a concert with my wife? She said it was just going to be a thing with her friends from work. When we arrived there was exactly one friend from work. A guy friend.
Ouch he was too dumb to have “something come up and cancel too.” Your better off I suppose.
He was very honest and upfront with me about how he was in love with my wife and wanted to be with her. Props to him, I guess. I’m definitely better off! My ex was incredibly demanding and controlling. Sometimes I think I’d thank the guy if I ever saw him again!
It’s kinda funny how cheaters don’t realize that their affair partners that know about their main relationship can easily sabotage it by just being open and honest. They can force the cheater’s hand at any time and in many cases even remove the other option.
If any affair partners that want a relationship are reading this, discretely inform their partner of what’s going on. You’ll either get what you want or the cheater will be forced to reveal that they don’t actually intend to leave their partner for you and are just leading you on. Their partner finds out what a snake they are with, too, so it’s a win for everyone other than the cheater, though even they might feel better once the dust has settled and they don’t need to hide their activities–until the next one, at least.
I hope you didn’t have a kid or shared property with the ex
We didn’t want children and she purchased the shared house by giving me her life savings which I used as a downpayment for my own house. Thankfully it was an easy split!
Good on you, mate. Thanks for sharing your story
Because I’m procrastinating at work:
How many sessions of coitus might it take to accumulate 5 km of cock thrusts?
Estimates:
- average erect length: 13 cm (from Perplexity.ai)
- average number of thrusts in coitus: 300 (ibid)
Calculations
- thrust distance per coitus session: 13 cm x 300 thrusts x 2 (accounting for insertion & removal) = 78 m
- coitus sessions to accumulate 5 km of thrusts: 5 km / 78 m = 64.1 -> 64 sessions of coitus
So OP’s wife would have to fuck 64 times to accumulate 5 km of cock. Even with amazing refractory periods, that’s still a minimum of 32 guys running a train on her.
Edit: working through this reminded me of that episode of HBO’s Silicon Valley where they started talking about handjobs and hotswapping dicks and hit on middle out compression.
Sir I think you are forgetting that you do not pull the pens completely out with every thrust unless you want to snap it off by accident. I think a 1.25 multiplier to your calculation is therefore necessary.
That’s a fair assumption to make. So our totally real OPs wife now has to make 80 fucks at minimum instead of 64
The all new penis 2.0 now with hotswap capabilities.
My favorite part of sex is taking my average sized penis all the way out and putting it back in approximately 300 times
same
Fr, she wasn’t going to no 5k. She had other plans.
He wanted that for both of them.
He signed both of them up for it. There was a confirmation email and everything.
And he was willing to be at the back. Everyone knows the middle is the best.
Anon is jealous
Umm yeah very irregular behavior!
Should have married a guy instead of a woman
They already did and this post is fake af
Odds are high that is it fake but it is absolutely based on a true story. Might have been a husband wanting to do a 5k or a canoe trip or something else instead of a wife, but I’ve known plenty of people who get pissy when their significant other wants to ‘intrude’ on their hobby.
The amount of times i wish i was gay is unreal.
How do people marry each other when they can‘t even communicate?
A: People who never experienced it fear loneliness more than they fear death.
B: People change over time, the person you married might not be the same person in 10 years.
Apparently, a lot.
It is weird interacting with those couples too. Sometimes they just play a role with their spouse and have to get away from them to be themselves.
They are as miserable as it sounds.
Women are shitty communicators. I tell my wife this all the time. Just because you are talking doesn’t mean you are communicating. Men created TCP, women created UDP network protocols.
Communication requires two parties to understand and come to a consensus, most women are making announcements, not communicating.
Also, women tend to think they are more emotionally mature than men, but are generally significantly stunted in their emotional development. Flip the script, how do you think his wife would have reacted if he called her fat and then talked about a 5k then cried and threw a fit when she signed up? Most men would have been happy and excited, but most men wouldn’t have also gotten past calling their wife fat without a divorce.
Edit: lol the white knighting here is crazy. You all will never get laid. Hopefully your wife’s boyfriends are at least having a good time.
Username checks out
You sound a lot like one of the local schizos on a /jp/ thread I frequent…
Legit thought this was a pasta lol
Mmk. Mmk.
Now picture this: the OP is full of shit and has altered the story beyond recognition to get dumbasses like you to agree that wamen r bad.
Anon fucked up. Anon should have known not to sign themselves up. 100% anons fault.
☕ hahaha
Fuck off with that ig sexism
Completely out of the loop, how is the coffee cup emoji sexist? I don!'t have or follow Instagram.
Apparently a reference to a game TF2 (no idea) in which one character says “women…” and they both drink coffee and laugh.
Instagram Sexism?
P.S dude, are you aware in which community you’re in? This is all about greentexts from 4chan. Stop taking stuff so seriously
My dude check the community info, agreeing with that shit is often sexist/racist.
And anybody with working brain can see how this is sexist…
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
☕🥱🤫
Fuck off with that Bluesky whining. Are you lost?
Fuck off with that Truth Social hysteria. Get out of here.
Fuck off with that… Pinterest smearing. Go for a walk!
Fuck off with that Club Penguin banning, go flip an iceberg!
Fuck off with that Runescape armor trimming bullshit, go touch grass in level 50 wildy.
Fuck off on up the model village!
flips the bird while blowing raspberry
