drop your childhood stories:
>be me, age 12
>hate showering more than anything
>it feels gross and i hate getting wet
>my mom starts telling me that if i don’t shower every day then i can’t eat dinner
>i want my dindin so i come up with a genius plan
>let the shower run for 10-15 minutes while i sit in the bathroom
>quickly wet my hair with sink
>mom buys it, i get dindin
>after a month she gets suspicious
>realize i have to step up my game
>now i run the shower and rub my arms/neck with hand soap
>also run my hair under the shower so it’s dripping wet and not just moist
>she asks why i haven’t asked her to buy shampoo yet
>come up with final version of my genius plan
>i’ll stand next to the shower, let the water run, rub soap on my whole body and also use shampoo on my hair so it smells like shampoo
>then i’ll rinse off in the sink
>all while the shower runs
i did this for four years until i realized i was just showering on hard mode
Kids are great. Mine spend 5-10 minutes refusing to do a two minute task.
Kind of like how I spend three or four days avoiding a ten minute phone call.
I am currently on month 6 of not calling the dentist about a painful tooth
Not the flex you think it is lol
Seriously, get your teeth fixed. It’s such a huge impact on your quality of life, especially later in life when that damage really starts to affect your eating habits or self confidence
I wouldn’t call it a flex. But sometimes openly admitting something even to strangers on the Internet can offer some ownership of the situation and start someone headed the right direction.
Yeah I was mostly joking. With a bit of good advice sprinkled on top
Not to mention, you could literally fucking die from a tooth infection if left untreated.
And miss out on all this!? *gestures wildly at everything*
It doesn’t seem like they were trying to flex
Broke a tooth on a pizza crust once… 5 years later it abscessed and I had to have emergency surgery to have it removed.
Fun times :/
If you broke your tooth on a pizza crust, there was definitely something wrong with that pizza!
I’m just waiting Americans to come in and tell that actually that’s just Houston style pizza or some shit and it’s supposed to be like that (also it’s a cube, don’t worry about it)
Houston lobbied for the FDA to permit the addition of glass shards to pizza dough as a bulking agent. What doesn’t kill your teeth and internal organs can only make you stronger!
Haven’t eaten there since… Can’t afford the medical bills. Haha
That sounds awful. I hope you get your teeth sorted out. Somehow.
Fuck me i think I’m on my way to living the pain you had to endure… Maybe I can get another few years like you… maybe
dude, i feel you. going to the dentist sucks so much i sometimes will just deal with a painful face instead.
“dinner is ready in two minutes”
Two minutes later, dinner ready
“but I just started a new game!”
🙄
Don’t accept that lol
“Why did you do that when you knew dinner was going to be ready in two minutes?”
“dunno”
:/
“but I just started a new game!”
Too bad, you either quit that game right now or no videogame/computer for you for the next 2 days.
deleted by creator
4 days… I’ve been avoiding some phone calls for straight up 3 years now, the people probably think im dead.
problem solved?
Eh basically… They wanted something from me, left a invoice that i should call back…
I just don’t wanna do it…
This is a right of passage. Growing up there are times when you find out that the easy way to go about doing something is the way your parents were trying to pound into your head all along
Rite* of passage
Thank you
Write-off passage
you don’t even know what a write-off is
some of ye all were just highly regarded
I first read that as highly retarded, and thought it was a bit excessive.
There’s a reason you read it that way
If this isnt fake op may actually be on the spectrum. Washing yourself with the sink Is also called a catwash.
been plenty of times i ve been way to overtimulated to handle a full shower its much more manageable to wash and dry hair and body parts separately one by one.
Op learned what many autistic people do. Inventing an alternative method while masking it into the socially acceptable method.
It’s also called a whore bath. He might just be a whore.
A friend of mine is a non-native English speaker. He teaches at an elementary school and works with ‘English as a second language’ students. He casually mentioned that he always tells his students to take a ‘horse bath’ in the bathroom sink after recess if needed. He was traumatized when I told him that he’d misheard that phrase for his entire adult life.
That story’s as spicy as whore’s radish!
Well, he shouldn’t look a gift whore’s mouth.
I’m a whore expert and concur with this diagnosis.
Dad? When are you coming home?
Soon. Any day now.
Reminds me of a snippet of conversation I overheard at the grocery. Kid’s talking to their mom and yells “child prostitution, ever heard of it?” She was pissed.
“IT’S REAL WORK MOM”
Daaaaaaaayyyuuuummm, I wonder what was the chatter before the kid yelled that
I was split between the kid problem solving their personal money issues, or unintentionally acting obtuse with a word they’ve only heard in passing. Sadly, we’ll never know as my partner felt disinclined toward listening in any further.
We always called it military shower.
I thought that was just pits and bits?
That’s pretty retarded.
How I feel reading 90% of the stories how anons go through their days.
I’m gonna assume you said autistic but it was taken to be derogatory and while the phrasing you used implies that, it is literally a reaction to symptoms of autism. That hypersensitivity to physical feelings fucking suuuuucks
More than a little confused by your comment.
Retarded is crossed out in the 4chan post. Did you read it?
lemmy.ml instance has a slur filter enabled. You cannot post slurs in any context and users from there will see it filtered everywhere. It’s pretty broad too. Can’t say shorthand for a female dog
That’s gotta be a bitch sometimes.
Its completely removed so they have to guess from context.
What a shithole.
What a
removed
Word filters are fun but if everyone has a different filter that seems like it would get ridiculous real fast
There may be others that follow it. It’s built into lemmy and was compulsory at one point iirc.
Maybe idk. It reminds me of the whole recent defederation drama partly caused by a false assumption that pronoun tags would be visible to everyone. If you don’t know what other people are seeing, that’s a big source of misunderstandings.
I was already under assumption pronoun tags were visible to everyone. Actually always assumed they were part of a users display name.
I guess I can see their reasoning and it’s good that we have different instances where you can choose what rules you want applying to your lemmy experience… buuuut who the fuck would choose to live in children’s land where your precious little eyes can’t be trusted to see the bad words?
Automotive subreddits used to run afoul of automatic moderation all the time because of this nonsense.
What would trigger them?
Developmentally delaying your ignition timing.
transmission
That’s retarded
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, fuck. I completely misunderstood. I tend to overanalyze things. A lot of times on the instance I use certain words will be “removed” from comments
Well that’s removed removed
You’re really just dropping slurs for fun huh
Oh buddy, he got you so hard lol
Think he was just playing along
deleted by creator
It’s a 4chan post, so it’s implied.
deleted by creator
Go.
Away.
Booooo
Let someone make a mistake, admit it, and move on
I’m constantly amazed at the variety of possible human sensory differences.
My problem is not spending the whole day in the shower.
The white noise aspect of the shower is amazing. Have you ever turned off the lights and just stood under the water in the dark? It’s pretty great, in my opinion.
Then you turn the lights back on and the water is thicker and red.
But on the bright side: not pregnant! 🎉
Jesus lmao
It’s a trap, you’ll be there till the water runs cold, which may be a really long time
You say that like I’m not already planning on being in their until the water runs cold.
On demand water heaters solve that problem. Damn I want one.
Instant hot water heater… I would stand in the shower till the heat death of the universe
If I ever spend all the hot water in my apartment complex then I’ve definitely been in the shower for too long
I’ll be fine. I have a waterproof phone and waterproof earbuds.
are you guys that bitch made that saying retarded on a 4chan sub is crossed out
Yeah ngl as someone who grew up being called retarded for being autistic I really hate how this word has become a slur.
Like every time people create a word for a specific type of person it becomes a slur. At some point people need to just get the fuck over it.
I also just don’t get the point of censoring. I don’t have any particular feelings about the word retarded, but I’m also autistic. Do I get annoyed when people use autistic as an insult (i hope it never reaches actual slur status because I’ll never accept it as such), esp for stuff that has nothing to do with ASD symptoms at all? Sure. Does it make it better if someone crosses it out in a screenshot, or censors it in a quote? Lolno.
Censoring is stupid and people self-censoring just makes me think the user is a child who’s scared of being caught saying the naughty words or is just copying what TV does as if they also have to adhere to broadcasting regulations.
A lot of people online don’t seem to understand the difference between referencing a word and invoking it. For example, we’re in a 4chan community, you should really expect there to be very offensive language in the posts themselves, but we’re adults here and we can look at the word “retarded” without thinking that it’s OK to use as a slur ourselves.
It was a slur the entire time millennials were growing up. It hasn’t not been a slur since…the 70s?
So was removed and the n word. The fact that I can spell out one but not the other is also kinda my point.
I’m retarded. It takes me longer to figure things out than most. I’m not ashamed of that. In fact when I finally figure something out, I actually understand it better than the average person.
Edit: Wow you can’t even say f a g g o t on lemmy. From a bisexual standpoint that’s fucked up
I think maybe that’s a lemmy.world thing? I did a test and I can say it. I see removed in your comment though and if you view my test from your instance (not my sh.itjust.works link above) I suspect you won’t see it.
Unless you’re trolling.
Yeah it’s apparently specific to my instance. That’s pretty fuckin annoying. Is sh.itjust.works still federated with hexbear?
That’s an interesting question actually. We had a vote and the result was to defederate but I still sometimes see the odd comment from a user. I never see their communities though. Might be similar to what lemmy.world did to kbin.social
Wait what the hell? Why is it censored? I thought the filter was all or nothing.
For testing purposes: “faggot”
I don’t know why, but this comment caught me off guard and made me laugh. It’s even funnier if you take away the context of the rest of the thread.
Glad you enjoyed it lol. I did it as a self reply because I realized it would be a really weird reply notification to get with no context.
Lemmy is just Diet Reddit
I think you mean lemmy.world and that appears to be by design. Someone was going to want to fill that void but at least with lemmy we have options.
A kid named
saying retarded on a 4chan sub
Are we ignoring the fact they did this until they were 16? I mean like, if this ended when they were 12 that’d be pretty par for the course kid idiocy. But 16? Damn dude.
The person might be autistic, the sensory issue of shower but being fine with sink rinse sounds a bit similar to my own sensory problems and in that case the age range wouldn’t be that off. At least the parent got the kid to clean itself so hopefully it worked enough to be hygienic
4chan
He is still at his moms house bro in the year 2024
I was 75% that… I was just dumb and my parents heard the sink running at the same time and opened the door and confronted me lol.
Had to do x km/day on the static bike, because fat.
Got no time for that.
Old static bike, with mechanical revolution counter.
Unscrew spinning cable that feeds from the bike into the counter.
MacGyver Lego contraption, with motor, with a pointy bit that fits where the cable would go.
Motor goes brrr, do required km in seconds, plug cable back in, rinse and repeat;, parents never find out (I “exercised” while they were working).
Still fat. 😞
Stationary bikes suck, riding on a real one is way more fun. I don’t blame anyone for hating that
This seems like some “Einstein working at the patent office” type shit to me. I would have never thought how to do that and I hope that mechanical aptitude has stuck around somehow.
Yeah but Einstein actually did work. This guy’s just come up with an incredibly convoluted way to make it look like you’ve done work.
It may have been easy to just do the exercise
That aptitude could be repurposed to do something useful. Programmers spend hours figuring out how to automate stuff due to laziness and desire to avoid tedium.
Also, anon is autistic.
And still doesn’t shower
Anything that starts with “be me” is pretty much universally idiotic, so this is no surprise.
be me
come up with a new synonym for idiot
God I was a pig headed, grubby little preteen I relate to this in spirit so hard.
Pushing boundaries by never doing exactly what you’re told: always put your own idiotic spin on it, or else the adults win!
I mean I hated being told to do things so this would 100% be something I would at least consider doing
How do you rinse off in the sink?
In hard mode, obviously.
Rag
Maybe his mom told him the bath was a sink, just a big one.
You’re allowed to say Retarded here on not-Reddit.
I think.
You’re allowed to do anything anywhere. All acts are permissible, in the grand scheme. I just don’t care to. Now bothering the people who want to say it, that’s my jam.
You’re allowed to do anything anywhere. All acts are permissible, in the grand scheme.
Feel like I should remember that more often in life.
It doesn’t work as a defense in court though
ok retard
Lemmy seems to hate that word more than reddit funnily enough. It was my first instance of learning that Tankies have a FUCKED sense of priorities
A lot of us are really hoping Lemmy doesn’t turn into tankie-voat to the extent a lot of lemmy instances are staying away from tankie instances. Being uncool with some shit (like making fun of mentally handicapped people) is part of that.
1: The vast majority of people using the word Retard are NOT maming fun of mentally handicapped people, its a word used for someone who made a very stupid decision they were perfectly mentally capable of not making, both people who are and who arent mentally handicapped are capable of being retarded.
2: Its the tankie servers that gave me a 3 day ban for using the word, the fucked sense of priorities I was talking about was their supposed heavy support of social justice issues while simultaneously supporting/believing Russia/China have done nothing wrong
The vast majority of people using the word Retard
I have had too many mentally challenged folk in my life, and they are offended by it. It’s something to keep in mind.
the fucked sense of priorities… believing Russia/China have done nothing wrong
Oh yeah, they’re idiots. Thank god they’re not smart enough to make their dystopian wet-dream happen.
Thats fair, and tbh I’d never use the term around someone with a mental disability unless they told me to (which HAS happened) in person, but on the internet where a thicker skin is required in general, or around friends I dont really see a better blunt term for stupidity, idiot has the same problem as Retard and any term that works now will eventually be tainted by the few who DO use mental health terms derogatively
Depends on the instance! Our dot ml friends can’t say or even see it from others.
I’ve tried saying removed but it got censored.
This is a test to see if it’s instance or community based.
I said fag-got and it got censored. What a fucking joke. Why is a British suet pudding fucking illegal to say? What do they have against British food? Fucking faggits
Are you not allowed to on Reddit?
Instant three day ban, I believe. Site wide.
Really? That’s retarded.
