I once got called the f-slur for having the audacity to read a book in public, outdoors in front of the library.
It’s okay, you can say “fatty” here.
One story my husband shared with me was when he and my dad stopped into a local bar after working hard on home renovations all day. They planned to get some dinner and have some beer after a hard day’s work but needed to wash their very dirty hands first. So they went back into the bathroom and washed their hands. Well apparently that was too “gay” for the owner of the bar and they went over to the bathroom and started saying things like “I don’t know what you think you’re doing in there” and “I just need to make sure you’re not doing anything funny”. So they ended up just leaving while the guy yelled at them saying they had to buy something.
A slightly different version of this concept also happened to my husband. At one point, 2 of our lady friends were talking about fashion and my husband, who is MUCH more fashionable than I am, chimed in. They proceeded to tell him that he’s “not allowed to have an opinion because he’s a man” which is the most double standard bullshit I’ve ever heard come out of any of my friends mouths. It’s stuck with me for a long time now because I think it keeps me honest with myself about standards and reminds me to think about how opinions change when you flip genders.
They planned to get some dinner and have some beer after a hard day’s work but needed to wash their very dirty hands first. So they went back into the bathroom and washed their hands. Well apparently that was too “gay” for the owner of the bar and they went over to the bathroom and started saying things like “I don’t know what you think you’re doing in there” and “I just need to make sure you’re not doing anything funny”.
Fellas, is it gay to practice basic personal hygiene?
Washing your hands implies you touched your penis and touching penises is gay.
Wait… you’re not washing your asshole are you?
You can’t be having fingers near your butt, same with wiping
Pull through parking. You know, where there are two spaces so you drive through one into the next so you can pull out of the one you park in without having to back up? I got told that was for “girls and gays”.
That really clashes with the reality of how truck bros actually park. Or does it…?
Truck bros park in the dead center of 4 spots.
If pulling forward into an empty parking space in front of your car is gay, then I guess you’d better start calling me Elton John. What the actual fuck?
Rocket man
Not sure if related, but my wife once told me it was hot watching me put my arm behind her passenger seat, look back and reverse out of a car space.
Now I need to know… are reverse cameras also for girls and gays?
Along those same lines, aren’t backup cameras becoming standard in vehicles?
They’ve been mandatory on all new vehicles since 2018
Suck dick
Did you say “no homo” before doing it? If you did, that’s just a brojob between alphas.
Of course not i don’t talk with my mouth full. I was raised right
I love telling this story, but I’ll warn beforehand it’s explicit.
! so, one time I was getting a blow job from this dude who was sort of newly out as bi curious. So, he asked if he could suck me off because he’d never done it before. Anyway, when I came, he didn’t pull off and decided he was going to swallow, and since he was still really new and nervous, I thought it would be hilarious if I said “no homo” when I came.
Unfortunately, he also thought that was hilarious, and laughed while swallowing. Ever seen milk come out of a kids nose in the cafeteria? That. But with spunk !<
Are we talking gay or gay?
That word gets thrown around a lot without actually meeting homosexual. Most of the time it’s just used as a tasteless replacement for lame.
Stand in awe at a replica of Michaelangelo’s David.
Admittedly staring at a statue of a naked guy, but come on
Yeah, you don’t have to be gay just to be able to admire art.
Heh come on.
I grew up in the 90s so just existing would cause people to call you gay.
Making quiche for brunch. Apparently an omelet is fine, but a scrambled omelette is gay.
Right?!? There was this whole “real men don’t eat quiche” thing that I remember from the 90s. What is unmanly about putting an omelette in a pie crust? It makes it easier to eat on the go and keeps better in the fridge.
wow
Have a straw in a restaurant.
Let a man do squats over my face until my nose touched his shorts bulge. Wait. I’m gay.
unisex clothing == male clothing
so still cant buy anything with colors or style or anything even mildly feminine without the gay thing being thrown around
Listening to metal music with female singers, on two separate occasions. The first was Planet Hell by Nightwish (from the End of an Era concert), and the second one was either Eluveitie or Dalriada.
Tarja-era Nightwish is so good.
Fellas, is it gay to speak Gaulish?
I got called gay back in high school for listening to Brackish by Kittie. Never understood that one.
Oh god so so so many. I’m going to stick with music though for today.
You like ${artist}? That’s gay.
Even more fun, “You like ${Track} from artist? That’s the gayest track.”
Guys are real quick to make sure everyone else knows how much manlier they are by what music they listen to.
Sounds like your music is pretty gay. Add some masculinity with It’s Raining Men or just jamming to some Village People.
Just wanna point out that at least in the 90s and early 2000s people would call everything they disagreed with gay, and it didn’t have anything to do with sexual preference.
My brother’s gay and still calls stuff he disagrees with gay. Used to do it myself all the time but stopped quite a long time ago.
In the same vein, my friend frequently tells his fiancé to quit being a f*ggot when he doesn’t want to eat something unusual or complains about mild annoyances. Which always draws hilariously confused looks from nearby straights who don’t know them very well.
Those guys are all sadly afflicted by a case of the Notgays.
