• DigitalNeighbor@lemmy.world
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    56 minutes ago

    I think he’s on to something… In these times of political and economical uncertainty, we should bring back ancient Rome colosseum style games. Modern fighters taking on wild animals for glory. Give the masses something to get excited about.

    Let the man get himself dismembered by a gorilla as part of a bigger event with deadly races and feats of human strength.

  • nthavoc@lemmy.today
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    6 hours ago

    Mike Tyson was going to fight a gorilla in his prime. The zoo keepers denied his request. While he can punch a hole in a human’s chest, that gorilla was going to rip his arms off with absolutely no effort.

  • andybytes@programming.dev
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    6 hours ago

    Why bother fight a gorilla. Just cut the forest down and polute his environment. Steal his children put them in a zoo. Cut off his hands then and turn them into ash trays. We have already dominated the natural world now we are working on dominating future generations.

  • finitebanjo@lemmy.world
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    5 hours ago

    Gorrillas weigh between 219 and 600 lbs

    According to Guiness World Records they can lift 1800 lbs.

    They have an arm span of over 8 ft.

    Feel free to try it but spend some time putting your estate on order, first.

    • Maiq@lemy.lol
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      4 hours ago

      An orangutan could grab a man by his feet and head and tear him in half, honestly i kind of doubt that the biggest most well trained man could even take on a chimpanzee and win without a weapon.

  • BigBenis@lemmy.world
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    7 hours ago

    This made me think of that time my partner’s brother told me in complete earnest that he’d be able to jump off a skateboard going 20+ mph and run it out based solely off the fact that the fastest recorded human running speed is 28 mph and therefore he, an average fit 20 y.o. should be able to achieve 75% of that.

    • funkless_eck
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      7 hours ago

      running at 12mph on a treadmill is scary and fucking exhausting.

        • bss03@infosec.pub
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          5 hours ago

          I did 1 mi. in 7:19 today.

          I have done 9.2 mph in some 1-2 minute sprints for HIIT.

          I’d want somewhere soft to land (when the treadmill threw me) and a first aid team ready if I were to even attempt 12 mph!

          • funkless_eck
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            5 hours ago

            yeah I was 15 years younger when I tried it and it was just a novelty.

  • billwashere@lemmy.world
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    7 hours ago

    If I had a gun in each hand, a bandolier full of knives, and a satchel full of grenades, I might be able to take down a gorilla. But likely not before he kills me first.

    • Zron@lemmy.world
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      6 hours ago

      Sounds like you need a bigger gun for each hand.

      .500 Smith and Wesson in each hand aught to do it.

      Just make sure you land the first shot center mass, cause by the third you’re gonna be shooting at planes.

      You will no longer have wrists, of course, but that is a small price to pay for victory.

      • billwashere@lemmy.world
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        5 hours ago

        I have actually shot a .480 ruger. I think I’ll pass on the .500. The gorilla won’t need to do anything because I will have already offed myself trying to shoot those things one handed.

  • matlag
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    8 hours ago

    Your best chance to kill a gorilla in a fight is probably to move so much air around him that he catches a f*cking cold and dies from it. If you don’t actually touch him you may even have a non-0 survival chance as he ignores you.

  • drunkpostdisaster@lemmy.world
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    7 hours ago

    That would be how to do it. Humans have pretty good endurance as far as animals go. And gorrilas have pretty terrible punching technique and waste a lot of energy on those shitty downward over head swings that are pretty telegraphed.

    My money will still be on the gorilla though unless you ad a few more people

  • mavu@discuss.tchncs.de
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    9 hours ago

    if it wasn’t so unethical towards the animals, i would love to let those people go for it.

    Could only improve the human gene pool.

  • selkiesidhe@lemm.ee
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    7 hours ago

    Just turned to my husband to ask are there really men out there who think they can really fight a goddamn gorilla??? Is it a joke? Have they SEEN a gorilla??? A chimp gonna kick your ass and they’re smaller than an adult man wtf!

  • Jiggle_Physics
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    12 hours ago

    I’d fight a gorilla, and win.

    It would be a gun fight, from a distance, but a fight none-the-less, and I guarantee you, I know how to shoot better than a gorilla.

    • ohshit604
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      7 hours ago

      I know how to shoot better than a gorilla.

      Insert Planet of the Apes intro.

      • Jiggle_Physics
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        11 hours ago

        Pshhh, those idiots gave that chimp the ak and then stood right there making a scene of it, the chimp happened to decide to pull on the trigger and the gun started firing off randomly. None of them got shot either. That gorilla is fucked.