• gravitas_deficiency
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    10 months ago

    no nagging for a week

    Wow, there’s just so much to unpack from just that sentence, let alone the chart.

    • taanegl@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      Look at his eyes, and look at his face… this is the trained male.

      Long have nation states and governments tried to break the male, to wrangle the male into a submissive state, but none are more successful than the woman sociopath.

      The female sociopath is in many ways addicted to control. Her one impulse to anything the male does is how she can turn it into her advantage, to control the male entirely.

      Luckily for the male, the sociopath woman gives fierce blowjobs, so it’s up to him wether or not the pain and degradation is worth it. 4/10 males say it is.

      Look at his eyes. He’s truly worked for this.

      • bobs_monkey@lemm.ee
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        10 months ago

        Luckily for the male, the sociopath woman gives fierce blowjobs

        Honestly that’s a 50/50 shot between fierce and dead fish. I have proclivity for crazy, and a good half the time it’s all for show and a real disappointment at game time. That all said, always test drive the car before signing the paperwork.

        • 0x4E4F
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          10 months ago

          Listen to this guy, he knows what he’s talking about

        • IninewCrow@lemmy.ca
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          10 months ago

          Also … if you have too many questions for the transaction from the start … it probably isn’t a worthwhile transaction.

          • 0x4E4F
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            10 months ago

            On the contrary, given my current life experience, I damn well diserve answers to all the questions I may have… if there are none or not enough, yes, the transaction is not worthwile.

      • iheartneopets@lemm.ee
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        10 months ago

        Wtaf did I just read, and why god does it have so many up votes. Please let this be a copy pasta.

        • 0x4E4F
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          10 months ago

          It’s a sarcastic view on what the meme depicts. We are in shitposts after all.

          • Kecessa
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            10 months ago

            “sarcastic”

            Yeah I wouldn’t get my hopes up

            • 0x4E4F
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              10 months ago

              That’s the fun part about sarcasm, you never know how much of what that person said or wrote he really identifies with.

      • Kecessa
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        10 months ago

        Look guys, I’ve spotted the incel!

        • taanegl@lemmy.world
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          10 months ago

          Voluntary. I’m ace. But I’m also an aspiring Gonzo writer. Check my other comments.

    • WeeSheep@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      Unfortunately, women tend to want partners, men want caregivers. Reminding him to care for his kids because he doesn’t recognize how children as his responsibility is now a women’s personality issue, rather than a man’s personality issue. It’s wild that a woman doing merely most of the care work and the full entirety of family organization from cleaning to meals has become something to look down on as a woman failing rather than men being irresponsible and not respecting their spouse.

      • RaoulDook@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        You may be right in general, but none of that is a good excuse for a transactional sex life.

        If I wanted to exchange services (labor) for sex, I could simply take the money earned from labor to purchase it from a prostitute. That is not what a marriage should be like.

      • activ8r
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        10 months ago

        Wow. What an incredibly sexist comment.

      • The Assman
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        10 months ago

        women tend to

        I’m gonna stop you right there dawg

      • gravitas_deficiency
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        10 months ago

        You are making a lot of sweeping generalizations that are wildly inaccurate. Some of those statements (hell, maybe all of them) may be true for certain socio-political subgroups of our society, but I absolutely do not agree that that’s the dynamic through which most heterosexual people view their partners (or more accurately, the idea of a partner).

        You’re basically just regurgitating the “atomic family” ethos from back in the 1950s.

      • Wirrvogel@feddit.de
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        10 months ago

        Reminding him to care for his kids

        by treating him like a kid will not help. Yes, making clear that you expect him to share the care work with you is important. Making rules together can be a way of doing it, but he needs to do it because he is the dad and her partner and a reasonable adult that takes their responsibilities serious, not because he wants a BJ at the end of the week. They both need couple therapy, because he isn’t a responsible adult and she infantilizes him on top.

      • Katrisia@lemm.ee
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        10 months ago

        Unfortunately, women tend to want partners, men want caregivers.

        Thank you. Nobody’s seeing that. All the comments saying the woman is mean, instead of talking about how irresponsible the man must be that he needs a reward system to do what he should be doing on his own* for his family.

        *I’m not sure if it’s the right expression. I mean by his own volition and out of responsibility.

        Edit: I won’t acknowledge the rest of your comment because, honestly, it got confusing.

      • Drewelite@lemmynsfw.com
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        10 months ago

        Men tend to trend more irresponsible, women more neurotic, in my experience. There’s plenty of exceptions, but on the whole that’s what I’ve seen. Neither is good, both can collapse a relationship. In straight relationships this can result in women taking on everything. Even where she’s overcome (or not originally had) any neuroticism, a sufficiently irresponsible man can still put the problem on her shoulders.
        What I think you’re omitting is that this can happen in reverse.

        Even when a man overcomes (or didn’t originally have) any irresponsibility, a sufficiently neurotic woman can still put all the problems on him. He has to pull the tasks away from her because she thinks only she can do it ‘right’. Only then can he pull his weight. But he then must also do the dance of convincing his partner that he’s doing a good job, or she’ll just feel compelled to do the work again herself.

        Of course most relationships are somewhere between these extremes. And some even see the roles reversed. People are, of course, extremely diverse. But this is a common pattern I’ve seen.

      • 0x4E4F
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        10 months ago

        I’m really surprised this got downvoted… don’t get me wrong, I downvoted as well, but… this is not what I expected.

  • BeefPiano@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    “Get out of the dog house card” isn’t going to work the way either of them think. Pulling that card when you’re in the doghouse is not going to make her fine with whatever upset her. There’s a good chance she’ll say she’s “fine” because she doesn’t want to renege on her chart, but whatever conflict isn’t going to resolve itself because he gave her that card.

    Trading sex for chores is gross. I don’t want a BJ or lap-dance from a partner that is only doing it because the sticker chart says she has to.

    It’s also insane that things like washing dishes or packing lunches or changing diapers aren’t part of the baseline expectations for a dad. You don’t get an award for doing the bare minimum!

    Both of these people are demonstrating the emotional intelligence of a block of cheese.

      • ditty@lemm.ee
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        10 months ago

        I was in a relationship with a controlling partner who made something very similar to this back in ~2016. I can’t remember exactly what was on it, but there was definitely a sexual favor reward for some amount of chores (it was like I had to give her X hour-long full body massages or smth) 💀

    • chetradley@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      It’s also insane that things like washing dishes or packing lunches or changing diapers aren’t part of the baseline expectations for a dad.

      This is the one that gets me the most. Like, I do the majority of a lot of these things in addition to taking my kid to daycare, doing almost all of the cooking, etc. I do it because I want to help my family, not because I’m saving up for a toothy blowjob.

      • 0x4E4F
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        10 months ago

        I do all that, and yet, it’s still not enough… always expected to do more and nagged about not doing enough.

    • funkless_eck
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      10 months ago

      🎵 the lap dance is better when the stripper has stiiickers 🎵

      • 0x4E4F
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        10 months ago

        It sound good till you actually experience that and realize how degrading it is.

        Look, I’m a male and I completely get the “I’m horny all the time” aspect of males, but… if she did this, that’s a complete downer for me. Mind you, I love sex, I would have it a few times a day if I could.

        • Signtist@lemm.ee
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          10 months ago

          It depends on how seriously it’s followed. My wife will often say something along the lines of “if you make dinner I’ll let you feel me up,” but it’s with the mutual understanding that she knows I’d make her dinner because she asked regardless of the reward, and I know she wouldn’t offer it if she wasn’t happy to give it - she just wants to make sure we have dinner first.

          This chart’s a bit too far, though, since it’s a more long-term commitment that doesn’t factor in everyone’s feelings at the time that the rewards come due, but I could see that being circumvented in the event that a “rain check” could be called if someone’s not feeling it at that moment.

        • Kusimulkku@lemm.ee
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          10 months ago

          It sound good till you actually experience that and realize how degrading it is.

          Some are into that

        • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world
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          10 months ago

          Does she want sex or does she want chores done? Because if it’s just the latter, then I wouldn’t really want sex either.

          If you’re ever handed a chore chart and it’s not part of a kink, then assume your relationship is in serious trouble.

          • 0x4E4F
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            10 months ago

            I was thinking more in terms of the latter. If it’s part of a kink, sure.

    • Classy
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      10 months ago

      I was gonna say, the way I care for our kid, if we had done this chart I wouldn’t have had time to do anything but get continuous blow jobs and lap dances!

    • bramblepatchmystery@slrpnk.net
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      10 months ago

      I think you are right if every assumption about this couple we make is the worst one to make.

      This might be a cornball gamification of a loving couple’s sex life. She might be a sexual assault survivor who requires a few days to get in the sexy mood and reminders that she is taken of by her partner helps her. They could just be glomping for the camera. This could even not be theirs or something they made for rage bait.

      Your engagement of public intrusion and moralizing into these people’s lives might ironically be hurting these people more than the chart has.

    • Kecessa
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      10 months ago

      I’m kind of disturbed by the fact that they call it “being in the dog house”… Is it a common expression in English?

      • papalonian@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        Someone else answered but yes it’s a boomer expression. Basically to mean you’re in trouble with your spouse. (They aren’t letting you in their bed so you go to sleep with your dog in the dog house.)

      • WhiteOakBayou@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        Yes, I’ve never heard a real person use it but I’ve heard it on TV enough to know what it means. I think it’s a boomer expression.

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    10 months ago

    I’m glad everyone finds it weird and gross, but I’m also amused at how many people don’t know this is a five year old joke from a mommy blogger at this point.

    Never actually real, just meant to make people who were currently dealing with sticker boards and feeling weird about it chuckle.

    • The_Lopen
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      10 months ago

      I’m appalled that you actually expect me to do research on memes and not accept them at face value. Leave my propaganda addled mind in peace dammit.

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      10 months ago

      It honestly blows my mind how many people on Lemmy are completely incapable of interpreting sarcasm. I know Poe’s Law and all that, but this is pretty clearly a joke.

      • iAmTheTot@kbin.social
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        10 months ago

        We live in a post Trump presidency, post Covid mandates world. Nothing is pretty clearly a joke anymore.

        • Eranziel@lemmy.world
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          10 months ago

          Yeah, this. I’m certain there do exist people in this world who have a chart like this. Probably they just happen to enough sense to not post the chart online, or are too obscure for theirs to become the meme.

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        10 months ago

        The comments are really weird. Not just about the chart training and prostitutional aspect, but also that people who argue about it still seem to have a shared opinion that stererotypical men won’t do these tasks.

        So, even if they acknowledge that the meme is crazy in one way or the other, they’re still reinforcing the negative stereotype of the bumbling sitcom dad and that these tasks are not manly or something.

        This joke is quite toxic even when understood as a joke.

      • kromem@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        As has been pointed out before, Lemmy is mostly people who up and left Reddit.

        There’s a variety of different archetypes that did that.

        And it explains a lot of the more head scratching experiences I’ve had here.

      • ricecake
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        10 months ago

        Oh, you’re right. Also: oh God, you’re right. :(

  • Fades@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    Speak to your partner adult to adult? Nahh, I’ll just treat my husband like another child!

    I know it’s rage bait but this shit does happen and it’s cringe as hell

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      10 months ago

      Why is she also the therapist? He’s a grown adult and could take some initiative.

  • SuperDuper@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    Sure, she may have infantalized him to an embarrassing degree, but at least she posted it online so the entire world can see how unhealthy their marriage is and how transactional their sex live is.

    • can
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      10 months ago

      online so the entire world can see how unhealthy their marriage

      Not to mention their fucking child. Hopefully “daddy” is just a nickname.

      • StarPupil@ttrpg.network
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        10 months ago

        Unless the throw up he’s cleaning and blown out diaper he’s changing are hers, probably not. Also “rugrats” he bathed.

    • 0x4E4F
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      10 months ago

      Excuse me, but, she made it transactional.

    • platypus_plumba@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      I’d totally get her to suck my dick 10 times per day and never nag again. This seems like a good deal.

      I can pee and throw up 10 times per day, no issues.

      “Honey, the kids are taking 5 lunches to school today, I’m adding the stickers myself, thanks”.

      • aesthelete@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        I can pee and throw up 10 times per day, no issues.

        Am I the only one alarmed that he’s cleaning up so much vomit? I mean I get that he wants the BJs, but is he feeding the kids syrup of ipecac sandwiches?

        • doggle@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          10 months ago

          Very young kids puke sometimes. It happens. We also don’t know how long it took him to get all those stickers. Could’ve been over the course of a few months or longer.

          • aesthelete@lemmy.world
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            10 months ago

            It’s 3x as often as he does the dishes at any rate; he must not be a big drinker.

            EDIT: It’s 2x as often as he puts the toilet seat down as well…must not have to go pee pee very often.

            EDIT2: For people with the “toilet seat down” problem, just get a toilet seat that slow closes on its own…they’re like 20 bucks and then you can just tap the top of the top part of the seat and it does the rest of the work.

  • mhague@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    Back in my day we assumed everything on the internet was false, and we liked it.

    • vsis@feddit.cl
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      10 months ago

      “Don’t believe everything you see on internet.” Albert Einstein.

    • FeelzGoodMan420@eviltoast.org
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      10 months ago

      One thing I have noticed is that most people assume that these obviously fake posts are real. I personally just assume everything is complete bullshit until proven otherwise. I guess I’m in the minority.

      • MaoZedongers@lemmy.today
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        10 months ago

        I assume it’s fake, but there’s not much to talk about in that case, so I look for the people who think it’s real and then engage with them since their opinions are based how they feel about this very fucked up situation if it were real.

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.worldM
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      10 months ago

      And then we watched Dana Carvey do an old man on SNL and whine and complain the whole time, “wah, wah, wah. I’m an old man. Laugh at me.”

      And we liked it.

  • EnderMB@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    I’d love to see him retaliate with a chart for her

    [x] Stop being a cunt -> Stay Married

    • 0x4E4F
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      10 months ago

      Mhm, that would be my ace of spades.

    • Katrisia@lemm.ee
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      10 months ago

      Sure, the spouse that has to create a reward system so that the other person does their chores is the one in the wrong, not the spouse that apparently needs parenting. Also, marriage is a favor to the former, not something both want and benefit from (/sarcasm).

      • woobie@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        You say she “has to create” this and that he “apparently needs parenting”. Did you have some additional context that informs that opinion?

        Couldn’t there be other reasons, such as she just doesn’t like doing those particular chores?

    • papertowels@lemmy.one
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      10 months ago

      The man literally needs the motivational tool of a 5 year old to learn to put down the toilet seat or otherwise contribute around the house.

      I bet you dollars to donuts he considers “nagging” to be asking him anything that he’d have to leave the couch for.

          • papertowels@lemmy.one
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            10 months ago

            I actually try to close the entire thing, lid included. Less poop particles when you flush, and erryone gotta work in this household. True equality.

              • papertowels@lemmy.one
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                10 months ago

                Yeah I just saw an article and discussion here with that info lmao.

                Welp, I’ll stick with true equality out of principle.

        • papertowels@lemmy.one
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          10 months ago

          Alright, I’m sure the big boy that needs a sticker chart for washing the dishes and taking care of his children is the mature one in the relationship, you right, she’s probably in the wrong here.

          • MaoZedongers@lemmy.today
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            10 months ago

            You assume he “needs” a sticker chart when just as easily the wife could be trying to get him to do all of it instead of his share. That’s your bias showing.

            Plus this inhumane and soul destroying regardless.

            Who the fuck makes a sticker chart with BJs and naked hula dances?

              • MaoZedongers@lemmy.today
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                10 months ago

                That’s cool but has nothing to do with this, so unfortunately I don’t have any studies prepared for you to learn from.

                • papertowels@lemmy.one
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                  10 months ago
                  1. We’ve established that the task of maintaining on a household typically falls on women in our society.
                  2. We have an example here of a sticker chart being used to encourage a man to take care of his child.
                  3. You’re saying I’m biased for thinking that the man needs this chart.

                  Nah, bruh, I’m just looking at the data and drawing conclusions.

                  Sure, there are exceptions, but when we lack any other indicators of exceptions, it’s safe to assume societal roles carry over. Making any other assumption is ironically letting YOUR personal biases show.

                  If I tell you 7/10 balls in a box are red, 3/10 are blue, and ask you to guess the color of a ball I’m grabbing from the box, what’re you going to guess? Red.

                  I’m pretty sure this sticker chart is fake anyways, but it’s the reaction of folks to this that’s surprising.

    • Smoogs@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      He seems horribly annoying to force people in relationships to have to take the mommy manager role before he’ll wipe his own asshole.

        • kofe@lemmy.world
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          10 months ago

          Relationships are a two way street, and dynamics like this are pretty common. It’s sometimes called over/under functioning or codependency in substance abuse. It could be the over functioner just tore the other person down, or the under functioner was susceptible already or drew it out of the over functioner. I agree it’s really difficult to know based on limited data, and all we can say is this is strange and comes across as infantilizing but if it works for them then whatever tbh. Not my relationship to care about

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          10 months ago

          Does the word “nagging” really suggest she’s bad when there’s needs to be a transactional economy where he only contributes to the care of his child after trading in his good boy points for a tendies a blowjob?

          I hope some of the folks in this thread get the partner they deserve.

  • ryathal
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    10 months ago

    He realized after putting the seat down three times the nagging wasn’t going to stop anyway.

  • db2@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    The creepiest thing about that is how she wants her husband to be her child and still put his penis in her mouth. Fucked. Up.

    • iheartneopets@lemm.ee
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      10 months ago

      I would say the creepiest part is that this man needs a childish chart like this just to take care of his children. She’s not his mom and honestly they should talk separation instead of having to come up with incentive charts just to get him to be a father.

      • 0x4E4F
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        10 months ago

        Sometimes, the latter is easier for the children’s sake. I can confirm from experience.

  • Macaroni_ninja@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    It’s fake, Its a crooked depiction of a toxic relationship which is fucked up, I know, but why would a guy need to be reminded to clean up, or care for their children?

    I see everyone is quick to jump on the domestic abuse hate train, but if you are a guy and not doing these things in a relationship you are just as fucked up as this imaginary psycho partner.

    • Smoogs@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      At first I was thinking they were making fun of people who go to the ‘she’s a nag’ absurdity(it is in shitPost ). Sadly some misogynists got triggered in here.